Hello There! (this will be a long one)

It's been a while! I've been crazy busy in the mornings and I shut down in the afternoons. They just slip away from me. That's nothing new... I've always been a morning person, but this is ridiculous! Any thoughts on how to pull myself up in the afternoon? I don't get anything done these days. Maybe the Rec center job isn't the greatest thing for me. I can't keep giving up my best time of day... Just a thought. Yesterday I started doing my scrapbook pages for our family yearbook. I've got four pages done! I'm not sure how many I'll do. I definitely need one more each for the boys and a page for B & me. I think after that I'll call it done enough. The only other person that has any done did four for their whole family. I don't want the whole book to be about me! I'll be starting another BFL challenge on Monday. I've really slipped in my routine. I guess I need a challenge to keep me honest! If I don't have a reason to say no it must not be that important to me. Working on figuring out my new goals. They are always pretty much the same. I still want to lose 20-30 lbs. I'd like to see if I can be a size 8. I just want to be cute. to feel good about my body. I still see too much of me! I will get going on my over-all efficiency. The BFL program is very efficient. I need to work on clearing my clutter, cleaning my messes, etc. Like I said, it's always the same thing. B and me had a great chat the other day. We went on a lunch date and started talking about what I need to do. He said something to the effect of Satan knows that I have these incredible mood swings and get stuck in these ruts and he plays on that weakness. I get so frustrated! Is this psychological or physiological? Is this a trap from Satan or a "challenge" from the Lord? I told B that it doesn't really matter. If it's a challenge I'm supposed to overcome, I'm failing. If it's a trap from Satan, he's winning. Either way, I don't know what to do! No, I do know what to do... I just can't seem to do it and I beat myself up for that every stinking day! I can't do everything that is required of me. I'll just end the vent there. It's just going in circles anyway... Trying to enjoy the Journey!