Love Story Wednesday

As you are well aware at this point, I was beyond irrational in this relationship. I was getting lectured regularly by a roommate... She said I was acting just like my brother (who played with her heart... and broke it). I thought I was being really blunt and straight forward. I just didn't feel any chemistry. So then I got lectured that if I wouldn't even look at him as an option, why would I feel chemistry. And for that matter... how do you know if he gives you butterflies if you never kiss him? I obviously didn't go for that one because it took six months for me to let him kiss me. And this is how it was... I knew he wanted to kiss me (and "date" me for that matter). I knew I didn't want to ruin our friendship. You know, this relationship wasn't going anywhere. I was informed that it was time. I had to let him kiss me to see what happened. And that's exactly what I did. I let him kiss me. Does it surprise you if I say that I felt NOTHING. It didn't surprise me at all. What did surprise me is that it made me really mad. I was starting to like him. Why didn't I feel anything? I should have felt something. So, now we were officially "dating" (I'm goofy... if you don't kiss and hold hands you're just having fun... hanging out) and of course we kissed more and things started to get more complicated. A few weeks after our first kiss *B* told me he was ready to make a bigger committment and that I needed to figure out what it was that I wanted. This is what I wrote in my journal... "OOPS!" Enjoy the Journey!