I'm Going Crazy!

I have that obnoxious "I'm going crazy... why don't you come along" song stuck in my head. It's driving me crazy! Lately I've felt stir crazy. I keep searching the internet for something to do. I really want to paint something. I love this painting from the Black Apple lady, but I hate that she put eyes on the egg.

She calls it "a good egg is hard to find" and this is what she wrote in the description, "I am on the life-long quest for good eggs. Good eggs only need apply! This painting is a tribute to that quest and my distaste for rotten and dud-ish folks alike." I think it's the perfect tribute to a pregnant mother and motherhood in general. I'm thinking I'll plagiarize (I don't know what you would call it in art) her idea and paint one of myself'ish holding an egg... but I won't give it eyes. I feel guilty about that and if they weren't all sold out I would just buy hers (and try to over-look the eye thing) then I would have two black apples. Then I think, "what makes me think I can paint? I'd just be disappointed because it wouldn't look like hers." Still pondering on that. I am supposed to be painting "Eliza" for Melissa's new baby. Maybe I'll start that someday. Someday.

Enjoy the Journey

Love Story Wednesday

It has been a lot of fun for me to read back through my journal with a different perspective than it was written in. I think I am seriously the biggest geek in the world and am embarrassed by some of the stuff I've written. I also get a good chuckle out of how completely obvious it is that I was seriously afraid of committment. Truth told, I still am. That's why I can't make even the simplest of decisions. I have since discovered that this "flaw" in me is simply because I am a seeker... always looking for the best thing (and what if this isn't it?). I don't think it's a flaw... I just let people know up-front that I don't make decisions. Tell me what to do and I'll do it. I'll even do it over the top most of the time. Just don't put me in charge. So... getting back to the love story. The point of all of that is this: It is terribly unfortunate that I am in charge of my life... and (at this point in the story) had some big decisions to make. My logic went out the window. This love story is all about how great *B* was back then and how I knew it, but refused to see it. Today's story occured on my birthday in 2000. I turned 24. According to my journal turning 24 didn't bother me so much. It just reminded me that I was alone and in the middle of a crazy life. I wanted "someone to cuddle up to, someone I could cry to when I had a bummer day". Here comes the oblivious part... *B* made me a birthday cake, took me out to lunch and listened to me cry about my crazy life, then, when he brought me home, he rubbed my feet. "I think he's great. I love that he made the cake himself. I can't get over that he made it double layered and put frosting in the middle. Plus, he made fun little wavies on the sides like a cake decorator. His new name is Martha Stewart!" Then I proceeded to cry that I wanted someone just like *B* but not *B*. I closed with this: "*B* treats me like I'm kind of fragile and I'm liking it, because when it comes right down to it I know I'm not." Yes, I am fully aware of the irony in this post. That's why I chose to share it. I was in serious denial. Poor guy went through an awful lot to get me. I hope he thinks it's worth it. Enjoy the Journey!

I Tag You All!

I was tagged awhile back and I've been saving this for a day like today. I thought the questions were fun and memory provoking. That is always important. I forget more about my life every stinking day! 10 years ago I had just arrived in Bolivia as a new missionary. I cried almost every night because it was nothing like it was supposed to be. 5 Things on my to-do list today:

1. clean my house
2. clean my house
3. clean my house
4. clean my house
5. clean my house

I try to keep my to-do lists pretty simple, because when I end up reading on the couch as opposed to completing everything on my list it isn't such a big deal!

5 snacks I enjoy:

1. Whopper with cheese, no onion, extra pickle (though not a snack).
2. PB & J
3. I've been craving Reese's pieces lately but have yet to enjoy them... in my head they're my favorite right now.
4. I love vanilla wafers with peanut butter, but again, haven't had that for a long time.
5. I also love Caramello's dipped in peanut butter and haven't enjoyed that for a long time either.
6. I have been sneaking spoonful's of peanut butter lately too... the baby must like peanut butter.

If I suddenly became a billionaire I would finish our house the way I dream it will be. I would invest the rest of the money so I could spend the yuckiest parts of the year traveling the world for the rest of my life.

5 places I've lived:

1. Bunkerville
2. Ephraim
3. Bolivia (El Alto, Oruro, Cobija)
4. Cedar City
5. Saint George

5 jobs I've had:

1. Bagger at the grocery store.
2. Baskin Robbins
3. Lifeguard at the Casa Blanca
4. Security Guard at the Oasis
5. Convergy's

5 things you don't know about me:

1. I am uber-paranoid and have flashes of myself getting killed in random situations.
2. I almost agreed to marry a guy who had another girl on the side and was expecting a baby with her.
3. I can't remember ever being asked out on a date... unless you count my "friend" *B* telling me he was taking me out for my birthday.
4. I have eaten a guinnea pig... and I liked it.
5. I swallowed a live goldfish at our wedding luncheon.

Seriously, I tag you all. I read a blog a while back (can't remember who's...probably Ali Edwards) she tagged Oprah, and a whole bunch of other really interesting people. I think you're interesting. Mostly, I think it's important to think about things other than what we have to... on occasion!

Enjoy the Journey!

And The Winner Is...

Maria with 8 1/2 points (and you said you never win anything... this is the 2nd contest you've won)! I gave you a week and you were all very good with your answers. Here are the correct answers:

1. This is my (3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th) pregnancy.
2. *I* hopes the baby is a girl and wants to name her (Jane, Abbi, Bea, Lisa).
3. In the beginning the smell of (fish, garlic, hamburger, onion) made me sick.
4. I pee in my pants every time I (run, laugh, sneeze, play basketball - yes, I've been playing basketball with our wards women's team. Thankfully, it's finally over!).
5. I am craving (Reese's pieces, pickles, Moose Tracks ice cream, lemon pie).
6. As of tomorrow I am (20, 23, 26, 29) weeks along.
7. *A* hopes the baby is a girl and wants to name her (Megan, Emma, Lia, Anna)
8. My current favorite food is a B.K. Whopper with (cheese, no onion, extra pickle, all of the above)
9. *B* hopes we have a (girl, boy)
10. What do you think we should name our baby? I gave 1/2 a point for each criteria you met from the options we are considering... Names that start with a vowel, names with double letters, Scripture names. Those of you who came up with multiple names scored big here.

So, congratulations Maria! You win a cute headband that looks something like this... but not exactly. I've been experimenting with baby headbands and they work just as well on big people. Maybe Morgan and Camille will get one too!

Thanks for playing everyone! I thought it was a lot of fun and I hope you did too!

Enjoy the Journey!

Love Story Wednesday

I was going to write about our first kiss today, but I found something in my journal that made me laugh so I thought I'd share that instead... I had "re-met" *B* about a month previously at the fireside and apparently we had been doing a lot together because he had come to the hospital with Taco Bell for lunch. We went into the x-ray breakroom to eat and this older guy Norman was in there with Shaun (they were both really a big smart-alecs and actually pretty funny). He said, "Well... who might this be?" I told him he was *B*. "And who is *B*? A friend? A boyfriend? What? Before anyone else could say anything Norman pipes up with, "He can't be in here." I wasn't really sure if he could be or not so I asked if he was serious. His answer was this: "Friends and good friends have to leave, but he can stay if he plans on marrying you." Get this, *B* got all comfy on the couch and said, "I guess that means I get to stay." I just about fell on the floor. After all of that I thought this would be a good time to inform him that I was going to set him up with a girl in my ward named Sara. He asked why, like I was trying to pawn him off onto someone else. I figured he wanted to find someone, I wanted him to find someone besides me... why not? After we ate I was guiding him out of the maze that is the hospital and we ran into Norman and Shaun again. Norman said to *B*, "I hope you know what you've got there. She's a great catch... A great girl. You can't do any better than *M*. Hang on to her. Marry her quick." Shaun thankfully came to my rescue and told him to knock it off because he was embarrassing me. *B* leaned over and looked at my face... "are you embarrassed?" he asked. No! Only horrified. I was so trying to keep our relationship uncomplicated. Enjoy the Journey!

Pregnancy... And a Baby Give-Away

Apparently this is my 100th post! Inspried by Maria's friend... I will give away something very cute and baby'ish to the person who can answer the most questions correctly:

1. This is my (3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th) pregnancy.
2. *I* hopes the baby is a girl and wants to name her (Jane, Abbi, Bea, Lisa).
3. In the beginning the smell of (fish, garlic, hamburger, onion) made me sick.
4. I pee in my pants every time I (run, laugh, sneeze, play basketball).
5. I am craving (Reese's pieces, pickles, Moose Tracks ice cream, lemon pie).
6. As of tomorrow I am (20, 23, 26, 29) weeks along.
7. *A* hopes the baby is a girl and wants to name her (Megan, Emma, Lia, Anna)
8. My current favorite food is a B.K. Whopper with (cheese, no onion, extra pickle, all of the above)
9. *B* hopes we have a (girl, boy)
10. What do you think we should name our baby?

*B* cracks me up! I've been getting a lot of "your belly is so cute" comments lately and of course that means I've been cringing and rolling my eyes more than usual lately. I really just feel (and let's just be honest...) look fat. So, mister funny says that anytime someone makes a belly comment I should just interrupt with a, "I'm fa a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a (and when the start to object get even more obnoxious with a growling...) ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah t!" until they stop. I wish I could do it like he does it. Then I actually would do it and it would be funny not just obnoxious. I was seriously laughing so hard my considerable belly hurt! I got a really fun package today! Ali Edwards showcases three things she has found (or already has) that she thinks are fun each week. A few weeks ago she showed these baby update cards from Sparkability.

Since I am pregnant and really do believe in preserving as much information as possible (though I still haven't found a workable solution for me) I thought I'd get some. These are the +/- of the cards: + they are every bit as cute and as funny as I thought they looked. They are not just printed on a computer, they are printed the way printing should be and so have indentation where the blocks were pressed in. They are printed on heavy duty watercolor'ish paper. I love them. - I thought that by purchasing the 12 month pack I would get all of the updates. Not so. I got 10 of the 12 mo. update cards. So I'm in a dilemma... do I buy the other three packs or return the 12 mo. pack with loads of sadness. Maybe I could buy the other packs and then put the leftovers together to use as baby gifts... hmm, now that's an idea I'll have to consider. I wonder if *B* would go for it. Enjoy the Journey!