Valentines Day

should be renamed Dia de los Dulces. Or Candy Day. I cannot believe how much candy the kids ate today. I had actually made them cute valentines, but decided to have a separate day to show the love since they came home with loads from school. *B* surprised me with a day off of work and he made us all breakfast. That was nice. He also gave me the traditional box of chocolates and the whole family went out for heart shaped pizza to celebrate his birthday. Getting older :). Anyway, back to Dia de los Dulces. Today, after a box of chocolates, I realized that it's time. Little man *E* is coming up on seven months. I am getting fatter everyday. Being the all or nothing girl that I am it's got to be drastic. Time to bust out the Body for Life book again [though I may need to throw in some South Beach phase one-type work in the begining to get past this sugar addiction]. So there you go. Sorry that you're going to have to listen to me talking about this again. I will spare you the before and after photos this time. I'll even spare you the measurement updates. That's all I can promise. Thanks for listening.

About A Girl

Really, it's all about a girl feeling good about herself. I want to feel good about myself. I stepped on the scale yesterday a.m. for the first time in a long time. I've been really afraid to take that step and well... it was with good reason. 200 stinking lbs. argh! We were visiting the in-laws and all of the "I can't gain weight" challenged guys are comparing weight and how much they don't weigh and I'm sitting there thinking, "I'm probably right up there with you." I didn't know it then, but it was sadly, all too true... I thought I was just being pessimistic. So it is with good reason that I start on this journey anew. It's just so danged hard! On a different note (and yet probably the same one)... The psychiatrist had a cancellation and they got me in earlier than planned. I went yesterday. ADHD confirmed. Anxiety confirmed. Reoccurring depressive episodes confirmed. + some other stuff that I can't remember (one of them had something to do with my... habit?... of seeing terrible things happening in my head is, in fact, not normal. It is truly, as *B* puts it, disturbing). On a happy note my OCD tendencies were not so severe as to warrant me getting to "claim" that one. It sounds terrible, I know, but the appointment went really well and we were actually laughing quite a bit of the time. I think I'll like the new Doc. I was hesitant to go because I'm nursing the girl and I figured that it would just be a waste of money and lead to frustration at not being able to do anything, but... hey, there are drugs out there that can be taken while nursing. Whoop! And, for those of you who are in the know. My "intolerance" to Adderall (a stimulant for ADHD) is because of my anxiety. Apparently you don't give stimulants to people with anxiety disorders. Who knew? Anyways... I guess it's all connected. I'll get me figured out one of these days! Enjoy the Journey!

2.for.Tuesday

As you may have noticed on your calendar, today is the day of Epiphany. I love it. What is that anyway, you may be asking... well, I'll tell you. According to Dictionary.com it is a Christian festival, observed on January 6, commemorating the manifestation of Christ to the gentiles in the persons of the Magi; Twelfth-day (did you know the "1st day of Christmas" is actually the day after Christmas?). And as we commonly use it now, it's a moment of revelation or insight. So in honor of the day (and of my baby turning 6 mo. old = I feel fine with being more aggressive about my weight loss goals), I want to share two places that have provided me with many ah-ha moments: one: Hussman Fitness. I loved this site when I did BFL. So straightforward. Here's a teaser quote...

"The key to success – in anything – isn't extraordinary, superhuman effort. It's daily action. You find a set of actions that you believe will produce good results if you follow them consistently, and then you follow them consistently. You don't reach a goal by constantly saying “so little done, so much more to do.” Just focus on taking small consistent steps, and suddenly you'll discover that you've arrived. The focus should be squarely on the present - "What are the actions I can take today that will bring success?" "

I highly recommend you reading more if you have a weight loss goal this year. two: Calorie King. So helpful. We all know that in order to lose fat you have to burn more calories than you take in. It's simple math, but the problem is that I often find that I'm really not aware of what I'm eating. I think I'm eating well, but really... I could be making much better choices. So that's it. I'm going to be obsessive/hyperfocused about weight loss for a while, but that's what it has to be. Sorry if it's boring. Enjoy the Journey.

Wherever You Go There You Are.

Yep.

example of a typical day:

• 8:30 a.m. - omlette + 1/2 large grapefruit + 2 c water
• 10:00 a.m. - apple + cheese + 2 c water
• 12:30 p.m. - tuna salad + 2 wasa crackers + 2 c water
• 3:00 p.m. - protein shake + 2 c water
• 5:30 p.m. - pita pizzas + salad + 2 c water
• 7:30 p.m. - 1/2 c cottage cheese + fresh peach + 2 c water

Recipes:

Omlette [238 calories] -

1. saute 1/2 c chopped mushrooms in 1/2 tsp olive oil + salt to taste
2. toss in 1 c spinach [just to wilt] when mushrooms are done. Set aside.
3. beat 2 eggs with 1 tbsp water + salt to taste. Make your omlette. I like to stuff the finished egg with the vegetables as opposed to adding them to the wet egg.
4. If you want to add parmesan cheese do it after you flip your egg so it can get melty. I like the shredded parmesan/romano/asiago blend kraft makes. It's in the refridgerated section.

Calories:

1. 1/2 c mushroom pieces: 8
2. 1/2 tsp olive oil: 20
3. 1 c spinach: 7
4. 2 whole large eggs: 148
5. 2 Tbsp cheese: 55
6. 1/2 large grapefruit: 27

Total calories for meal = 265

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Snack total = 185

Cheese: Tilla-moo's medium cheddar: 90

Medium apple: 95

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Tuna Salad [236 calories]:

1. 1/3 c each - (chopped) cucumber, tomato, avocado
2. 1 clove minced garlic
3. 1 Tbsp capers [chop if you like]
4. 1/2 lime juiced [2 Tbsp]
5. chop 1 c spinach
6. 1 can water-packed tuna
7. mix mix mix + enjoy

Calories:

1. 1/3 c cucumber: 8
2. 1/3 c tomato: 11
3. 1/3 c avocado: 79
4. 1 clove garlic: 4
5. 1 Tbsp capers: 2
6. 1/2 lime juiced: 5
7. 1 c spinach: 7
8. 1 can tuna: 120
9. 2 wasa crackers [multi-grain]: 90

Total calories for meal = 326

**********************************

Snack total: 180

EAS Myoplex Lite - chocolate cream flavor

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Pita Pizza [271]:

1. 4" whole-wheat pita sliced in half to give you two rounds
2. 3 oz grilled chicken strips - chopped + sprinkled on rounds
3. 1 c cherry tomatoes - sliced + added to rounds
4. sprinkle on 1/4 tsp basil + 1/4 tsp chives + salt to taste [ground together in your hands]
5. 1 string cheese - grated on top
6. toast in oven @ 400 until cheese is brown + bubbly

Simple salad:

1. toss 1 c spinach with 1/3 c each - (chopped) cucumber, tomato
2. top with 1 Tbsp capers + juice from 1/2 lime
3. salt to taste

Calories:

1. 4" whole-wheat pita: 74
2. 3 oz Tyson's grilled chicken strips: 100
3. 1 c cherry tomatoes: 27
4. part-skim mozzarella string cheese: 70
5. 1 c spinach: 7
6. 1/3 c chopped cucumber: 8
7. 1/3 c chopped tomato: 11
8. 1 Tbsp capers: 2
9. 1/2 lime juiced: 5

Total Calories for meal: 304

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Snack total: 140

1/2 c low fat cottage cheese [2%]: 102

1 med peach: 38

DAILY TOTAL: 1400 calories

I Have a New Goal

I will lose 40 lbs. I will! The only bummer about getting pregnant with the girl was that I had just lost 30 lbs. Well... now that number has grown and I've got my work cut out for me. I would wait a while still. I know it's early in the game. I just can't do it. I keep eating and eating... etc. I don't like myself right now. I feel gross and, to be perfectly honest, I look gross. I am getting fatter and that isn't supposed to happen after delivery. Especially when breast feeding. I'm not quite sure what exactly I will be doing, but to start with *B* and I have committed to not eat out for an entire month. I keep telling myself that I will stop eating added sugar, but my power to do that hasn't shown up yet so I'm going to have to say... I will go to bed before 9:30 p.m. and see how that goes. And I will go to the gym. I will. So, that's it. I will do this. And, I will spare you the before photo this time. You can thank me later. Enjoy the Journey.

The Numbers are In...

Well, here they are. Before and after numbers and photos. I just wanted to tell you thank you for being such great cheerleaders! Seriously. With you continually validating my efforts and making me look realistically at what is happening to my body I can't help but smile and be proud of my efforts! Here are some measurements:

• At belly button: B: 39 1/2 A: 35 1/8
• Rear end/hips: B: 44 3/4 A: 41 3/8
• Upper Thighs: B: 27 A: 25
• Weight: B: 195 A: 170
• Body Fat %: B: 31.7 A: 24.4

I feel really great about the results I've had! I am in a good starting place now to finally be where I've always dreamed of being. I need to put more thought and effort into this between/ down time. I thought after 12 weeks it would be second nature to not eat certain things, but... NOT TRUE! Just like an alcoholic, I am an addict. I'm going to have to actively deny myself of things. It won't be easy. I've totally let down these last couple of days. I've got to get back on that wagon!

Now, the pictures. I still can't believe it. I look at myself everyday. I didn't expect this when I put them side by side!

Starting another journey!

Optimal Experience

I fizzed on my cardio workout this morning. B & I were up until after midnight last night and I got up at 5:45 a.m. for the gym. This schedule seems to be a re-occuring theme for me, and while it's not great I've still been able to push through to have a great workout. Today that just didn't happen. I am so physically exhausted. I got half way through and honestly thought I was going to pass out. I backed down to a walk until I felt like I had it under control and then tried to finish up strong. I just couldn't make myself do it. Could I have physically done it? Probably, I think our bodies are stronger than we think. I am all around spent. In a way I think I took the easy out. In a way I think I have honestly run out of gas. I could have kept pushing this morning, but would that have ruined my day? I am just going to feel good about what I did accomplish and enjoy the insight I had while sitting on my front porch "meditating". Here's my daily something that resulted...

I will not beat myself up for today. I am still going to give myself a gold star!

Enjoy the Journey!

WOW!

Eleven days to go. Can you believe it? Yesterday I had dinner with Cori @ the Pasta Factory. I love it that they have whole wheat pasta, pesto, grilled chicken, & steamed veggies... and that they offer 1/2 plates. I just eat half the pasta and all of the veggies and chicken. Plus a salad with lemon and salt. It's really great! I keep telling myself that I need to sprint to the finish line. I also keep telling myself that there is no stopping at the end. Yes, it will slow down. No, it will not stop. This will be an active "cool down" for a couple weeks. Then I think I will go at it again. I am feeling really great. Especially first thing in the morning when I first look in the mirror. That was one of my goals: To be able to smile at myself in the mirror in the morning. I think I can do that. This has been so great for me. THIS IS NOT THE END! I still have 11 days to get rid of as much of the extra fat as possible before my last photo shoot. GO ME!!! Enjoy the Journey!

New Quote

I got this just today. I've been feeling especially craving... I'm not sure what. Anyway, Mike Harris posted a few "slogans" from 12 step programs. I really liked most of them. Nothing new, but the one I need to focus on is: NOTHING IS SO BAD THAT OVEREATING WON'T MAKE IT WORSE. Just because I keep having to check myself and busy myself with something that won't take me past the fridge or cupboard. Yes, sadly that means surfing. Isn't there some other way to ignore the kitchen? Why does it have to be right there in front of me? Why is it that nothing in the world sounds better than an not great granola bar or some wal-mart gummies? Could it be that I get asked, "can I have some gummies?" or "can I have a granilla bar?" at least 20 x's a day? Yes, I'm done. No I haven't caved. B will be home soon to save me! The new today quote is from an article Amy Krause Rosenthal did for Parenting magazine. I've been looking for info on her for our book club next month. We're doing "Encyclopedia of an Ordinary Life" and other work by Amy. I really like her style and we'll talk more about concept and record keeping I think than anything. Should be fun! enjoy the journey!

I Am Okay!

Yes, yesterday was a hard one for me. But... I will not take that lying down. I e-mailed Mike Harris and explained what I'd been doing did he have any ideas. He wrote back (which of course prompted a "daily something") and told me I'm okay. 15 lbs in an entire challenge is nothing to "sniff" at, so what if I lost it all the first 6 weeks. Then he gave me hope again. One of the featured challengers from the 2nd round said her most dramatic changes happened her last week. Mike had inside info on her last few weeks diet wise and he e-mailed them to me. Something that she did was dropping the starchy carbs in week 10 and cutting out fruits in week 11. Plus she increased her water consumption. Mike said that is a strategy long used by professional bodybuilders and fitness competitors. That it really helps to drive out the last few pounds of fat and water between the skin and abs. I don't really know where I am at realistically, but I love the hope he shared. So... Next week no more starches for 2 weeks! Hmm...do you think if I started that now? Maybe pull in a little SouthBeach Phase 1 for the last 3 1/2 weeks? I think I might! Here is my need to document the awesome support that is available (for free even!) in the BFL program:

And so... that is it. I'm just going to keep working my tail off! Cut out even more "stuff" and free days? What's that? Ha Ha Ha! (I know, I'm insane... 3 1/2 more weeks!) Enjoy the Journey!

Daily Something

Can I just tell you how much I am loving doing the Daily Somethings that Ali shared? It has turned into my quick/ no mess creative outlet. When I need to think of something good I find something, take a picture (or use a past one) and journal about it. This is what I did today: I needed something to smile about... I'm feeling a little rebuked right now. On the BFL guestbook there is a woman named Tara & she isn't seeing the results that she would like to and she's in the same place I am. Anyway, I shared some of the things I've found. An example being: I read @ hussman fitness that some of the past champions have lost weight prior to starting their challenge to put themselves more in a position to have the results they were looking for. I shared that with her and said something to the effect that we just keep working and waiting and if it doesn't happen this time, well then we'd be primed and ready for the next challenge. Well, today Mike Harris did his blog about the whole subject. That if we aren't seeing the results we want it's because we haven't truly given it our all. That we would be able to look back and see where we went wrong. I pulled this from the blog: "I know that everyone in their own mind thinks they are doing this the very best they can. But often those who are seeing little or no results will have the presence of mind to really go back and examine their program from top to bottom, and will see that they are not really being that careful or stringent." What really hit me hard though was this comment: Tracy HOUSTON, TX-- It’s ironic how you blogged this today. I was pondering about this after reading some posts from the GB yesterday regarding some challengers not seeing better results. Thanks for putting into perspective that we won’t witness the "8 week miracle" that we all so desire if it is not earned..." Sorry that I'm complaining... I seriously feel hurt. I think I have earned this! What could I have done more? Is this stalling period a result of stacking my weights? I just need to keep going. Even if I don't lose another pound I will finish this challenge! So grateful that I have two beautiful boys who love me anyway! Have I told you that my oldest understands that I don't eat anything with sugar? He thinks I have an allergy! So cute! enjoy the journey!

New Ideals

Tonight on the BFL guestbook someone mentioned Mike Harris' blog from 7/27 about diet. I went back and read it... I still have this nagging in the back of my mind that I'm just not doing everything I could be doing to win this thing. Anyway, I found it to be enlightning. He listed the things we should be eating and what, in his very educated & seasoned opinion are the best choices in those groups. This is what he said: PROTEIN:

1. egg whites
2. whey protein
3. white fish
4. water packed tuna
5. turkey breast
6. chicken breast
7. no fat cottage cheese

CARBS:

1. rolled or steel cut oats
2. brown rice
3. yams
4. beans (i.e. pinto/black/garbanzo)
5. non-tropical fruits and berries (limit to 1 serving/day)

RAW GREEN VEGGIES: eat these with 4 of your meals/day

MYOPLEX/ MYOPLEX LITE SHAKES: 2 x daily.

I see areas of change to be made. My go to protein (besides the whey) is cottage cheese or cheese sticks. My go to carb is an apple or cut up peach (in the cottage cheese) and my go to veggie has been sauteed spinach the last few days... I realize that this is even more restrictive than what I have been doing, but... I really think it's got to be done. Only five more weeks + a few days left. It's got to be all I can do to get rid of this excess fat! Don't want to be left thinking, "I could've done more."

I tried a new recipe for dinner. It was pretty good considering...

AWESOME PANCAKES 2 servings Combine together in blender: 1/2 cup Oats(can be instant or regular), 6 egg whites, 1 cup low-fat cottage cheese, 1 teaspoon vanilla extract, 4 packets of Equal. Add cinnamon if desired. Cook in heated skillet coated with Pam, butter flavored, turning once. Unbelievably wonderful. Submitted to BFL website by: Jacque Bain

Actually, I did like them. I didn't put anything on them (still need to pick up some butter spray) and I did add the cinnamon. I put in 1/8 tsp but could've done more I think. What I liked most was that I was able to eat 4 pancakes! That just did a lot for my head I think!

Enjoy the Journey!

For Your Information

I added a few links to check out. I know I've talked a bit about hussman fitness. You can go there from here now. I also added a like to Calorie King. You can go there and look up food you want to know the calorie count for... I have been wondering about mushrooms so I went looking for a place to tell me more. FYI: 1/2 cup fresh mushroom pieces has 8 calories, no fat (actually .1g), 1/2 g fiber, 1 g protein, 111 g potassium. So, it's a good place to go for questions about calorie foods. For fun I added a link to Keri Smith's blog. She promotes guerrilla art. I'm still not entirely sure what that means exactly, but I think she draws on sidewalks/buildings etc. with chalk. On her site is a list of 100 things to do to get your creative juices flowing. I think it was a fun list over all. Today, at playgroup, my friend Victoria had a shirt she had altered. She wanted a new, funkier, shirt than anything she had in her closet so she pulled out the bleach and wrote something in German on the front of her brown t-shirt. I loved it! I told her I was going to have to make myself one. I have to say that Victoria is someone I need to hang around with more... Enjoy the Journey!

Inch By Inch

Here it is ladies...the official 6 week comparison. I'm still not conviced that visually there's a whole lot of change, but the numbers and my pants don't lie: week 1 to week 6

There may be a slight difference in the depth of the furrows. I can see a big change in my face. Here is the big change though...

1. Weight: from 195 to 180
2. Body fat: from 31.7% to 29.7%
3. across belly button: lost just over 2 1/2"
4. at true waist: lost nearly 2"
5. rear: nearly 1 1/2" lost
6. approx. 2" off each thigh
7. lost a little off each calf
8. biceps are growing

I am very excited. Still always questioning if I'm doing enough to win. I know, I know. I'm a winner regardless because I'll look awesome. We could really use that money to finish the house though. That's a worthy reason. Right?

Thanks for all of your support! YOU ROCK!

Enjoy the Journey

What's Up?

So...this is a hard post to write. I just finished week 6 and tested my body fat % again this a.m. It went up to 29.7...that is a huge bummer for me. I'm trying to figure out what's up. I'd like to just pass it off as a junky tester, but I don't know that the tester is the real problem. This is what I think the problem is...

1. Last weekend I had my first "real" free day. It was all out too. Starting with a white chocolate macadamia nut cookie at 11:00 a.m. moving on to R.S type salads, and coffee cake, and more cookies, etc. etc.
2. This weekend I had two smallish (but still 2) slices of pie, 2 pieces of fudge, approximately 5 serving of black licorice (nearly 700 calories by itself), and then a 3 scoop cup of rocky road with milk.
3. I've started to feel like I've got a good grasp on things in general and basically stopped planning my meals/workouts. I'm sure it's not helping either. It's all about awareness and I'm just doing it automatically. That will be good when I'm maintaining, but not during the challenge.

So, what do I do about it? Here's what I think...

1. Learn from this little set back. No more "free days" I will choose something - one thing - to treat myself to on free day.
2. I will plan everything. My meals, my workouts, my sleep...that's another thing I forgot to mention, just plain still not getting enough sleep.
3. As much as I despise it, I will be a calorie counter for no other reason than that it is a huge eye opener. It's amazing how fast a little here, a little there adds up.

Speaking of "a little here, a little there" did I ever tell you what B has to say about that? I was telling him how Ali Edwards says that things are easily done in baby steps, "a little here and a little there" he started using that against me. If I'm drooling over something or trying to talk myself into eating something questionable by saying it's just a little, he'll say, "a little here (pointing at his waist) and a little there (pointing at his rear)." He's really been great you know. Super supportive and not condescending. Definitely a cheerleader. I get into trouble when I project the feeling I'm having onto him. Then I start to think he's looking down his nose at me and I want to rebel. I'm doing it all to myself. I'm looking down my nose!

So, little set back. It's not going to stop me though. I've still got 6 more weeks of this and they'll be better than the first 6.

Enjoy the journey!

Five Weeks Down

Can you believe it? It really is going by pretty fast and in all truth, I'm getting pretty used to it. I had an all out free day on Sunday. The first all out so far. I was really worried about how Monday would go after that, but it was okay. Still trying to keep my calories down. I can tell I'm getting stronger. Today I did my 6 rep level bench press with 30 lbs dumbells...that's 60 stinkin lbs! Tomorrow I have to kick it into gear on the cardio. I'm still waiting/working towards the 8 week miracle. Everyday when I read on the BFL tracker I see another lady touting the 8 week miracle. I sure hope this all pays off. (Literally too!) Man, wouldn't that be awesome? Oh, by the by, I have reached the end of my sentence as Bruce puts it. So any of you who were still wondering if I might be prego and just not testing positive (again...as you may recall that happened with Isaac) I am bleeding profusely. Not to worry! Enjoy the Journey!

The Test is In

So, I've finished week four...This morning I retested my body fat and tonight Bruce will take my picture and re-measure everything. Do you want a sneak preview? I am so excited! The previous fat test was 31.7% this morning (under the same conditions) it was...27.5! Yeah for me! Check back tomorrow for updated photos and measurements. I have been doing a lot of reading and found that I may be eating too many calories. I need to implement more Sugar Solution and lean more heavily on the protein side for better fat burning. Enjoying the Journey!

Efficiency

Well, it's day 26 and I feel great! I have found a few things that I can change...areas of improvement, things I was doing in ignorance, etc. but over all I'm feeling really good about what's going on with me. A couple of changes to make:

1. In the BFL book Bill says to mix low-fat cottage cheese w/yogurt. Specifically mentioning Yoplait light. I noticed just yesterday that Yoplait light has 14 g sugar and the 2nd ingredient on the list is high fructose corn syrup. I understand that this book was written lots of years ago. I need to remember that and not take anything at face value. I need to optimize my performance and high fructose corn syrup is NOT the way to do it. Thankfully I still have 8 weeks to go!
2. As efficient as I feel by speeding up my weight routine I can't do it. I keep reading that I will see optimum results by doing the weights just as Bill says, because if there's one thing Bill knows, it's weight training for optimum results. So...I will follow the plan and take the 1 min. rests between sets and do the whole set before moving on to the next lift/muscle group.
3. A great quote from FLOW by: Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi..."Getting control of life is never easy, and sometimes it can be definitely painful. But in the long run optimal experiences add up to a sense of mastery--or perhaps better, a sense of participation in determining the content of life--that comes as close to what is usually meant by happiness as anything else we can conceivable imagine."

So Ladies...Take control. Participate in determining the content of your life.

Enjoy the Journey.

23 Gold Stars

Yeah for me! The past two weeks have been really hard for me. I've been craving something...not sure what. Thankfully, I've only been craving and not caving. Still loving my baja tuna... I eat it with 2 Wasa crackers...

• 1 chopped tomato
• 2 Tbsp chopped fresh cilantro
• 1/4 or 1/8 tsp minced garlic
• 2 chopped green onions
• Tbsp lime juice
• 1 can tuna
• 1 tsp mayo (or more if you must!)
• 1/2 chopped avocado (optional)

Started making mini pizzas on pita bread. I cut the pita in half so I have 2 pizzas. I tried topping it with a Tbsp of pesto but have found that it isn't necessary. Better, but not necessary. Slice a tomato thinly, lay on top of the bread. Sprinkle with 1/4 tsp salt, 1 tsp dried basil, 1 tsp dried chives all ground up together. Grate a light mozzerella cheese stick on top then sprinkle with parmesan. Toast in oven until cheese is golden like you like it. Good Stuff! Just like my grilled cheese/tomato sandwiches.

Enjoy the Journey!